Natalie's Maltese Humor
I've seen a look in dog's eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts!
~~ John Steinbeck ~~
The great pleasure of a dog is that you can make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too!
~~Samuel Butler ~~
Why did the maltese bite the man's foot?

Because he couldn't reach any higher

The Creation Story as told by the dog

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.

On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.

On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the
dog.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.

On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
 
 

How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
paw line

Lightbulb

ROTTWEILER: Just one. You want to make something of it?

DOBERMAN: Immediately decides to change the brand of lightbulb and find a more efficient form of lighting--perhaps a fluorescent bulb.
.
JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: Two, but the job never gets done--they keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

BULLDOG: Just one. But it takes them three years to do it.

POMERANIANS: Don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a German Shepherd in to do the job for them while they're out.

PUG: Er, two. Or maybe one. No-- on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you?

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

AFGHAN: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?

CAT: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes!

SHIBA-INU: Zero! Shiba's aren't afraid of the dark!

SCHIPPERKE: It's your lightbulb--change it yourself. Unless.....is there food involved??

POODLE: Sorry, Just had my nails done.

BEAGLE: How many cookies do I get?

WEIMARANER: Light bulb? You want ME to change a LIGHTBULB??

LAB: Why change it? The darker it is, the longer I can sleep.

BASENJI: LIGHTBULB?? We don't change no steenking lightbulbs!

MALAMUTE: Let him do it, you can pet me while he's busy.

BOXER: If I could stop wiggling my butt long enough to quit falling off the chair.

DALMATIAN: Just one, but it will really hate the new bulb.

ROTTWEILER: I'll change the light bulb if I can eat the old one.

CORGI: I cant reach the stupid lamp!

SPRINGER: Lightbulb? Lightbulb? That thing I just ate was a lightbulb?

STANDARD POODLE: None. Go get human, sit under it, look up and point it out--then go lie down in disgust that it took so long.

BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And he'll rewire the house while he's at it.

WOLFDOG: Let me see that light bulb, anyway. What's it made of, what's inside of it, what will happen if I drop it?
I might change it, but let me think about it. You're not trying to tell me what to do, are you? Hey, I just had a great idea. I think I'll change that light bulb! 

GERMAN SHEPHERD: "I'm kinda busy right now! I have to chase the cat, protect the kids, herd the horses, beg for food and take a nap.
                   I'll add the lightbulb to my "To Do" list...."

DACHSHUND: Well, first get me a ladder and a treat......no, you took too long. I want TWO treats and I'll do it.........No, not that treat, the other kind. Geez..........do I have to do everything?

IRISH SETTER: It only takes one, but it will put in a really dim bulb.

PIT BULL TERRIER: Jump and take hold of old light bulb. Now, let go of old light bulb..........I said LET GO OF LIGHT BULB, Please???? Let go of the light bulb!!!

And, the MALTESE: Don't worry, my Mommy will do it for me.....


 






white dog
All graphics and photos are property of Kathy
and Natalie unless otherwise noted.
Copyright 20001
Little white dog courtesy of Dog-gone graphics
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
~~Steve Bluestone~~

Top 10 Dog Country & Western Songs:

10. "Don't Chase That Pickup, Rover Boy", by Tex Critter.
9. "Howlin' Over You", by Bonnie Bloodhound.
8. "Four On The Floor", by The Toolbox Terriers.
7. "That Ain't My Collar", by Woof Brooks.
6. "Out Behind The Pool Hall", by Johnny Dumpster.
5. "Bad, Bad Leroy Hound", by Willie Welshound.
4. "Don't Kick The Supper Dish", by Flea G. Shepherd.
3. "Boot Chewin' Boogie", by Hank The Cowdog.
2. "Dog Chow Blues", by The Chuck Wagon Chasers.
1. "Fleas Release Me", by Bark Collie.

white dog